HAPPY BIRTHDAY THELMA!!!!!!!!!!!

To you on your special day, Buttcup. Disneyworld awaits with open arms and an empty stomach. Till you return xoxo

Fun, Sun, Steak

Lanny is going home tomorrow and it's sad :( But it's ok, because she'll be back within two short weeks for our cousin's wedding!

I'm going back to Virginia in mid-July which sets my mind at ease about the boredom that consumes me in Katy. This is my summer of relaxation - it's the first summer unemployed summer I've had since I was 16. Although having no responsibilities is nice, my body is growing sluggish from boredom and lack of activity. My days are spent tanning in the backyard and reading and watching Arrested Development. I'll take a sluggish body over work any day...I don't really do work.

The days are blurring together and flying by. Each passing day brings me one step closer to my lady love :)

Even though a sista ain't got no J-O-B, I'm still eatin'

COME BACK HOME

 i can't live...

if living is without you

It's romantic cuz it's sexy

In celebration of Gloria's latest achievement, I decided to give her a little treat. I showered her with all of her favorites: French bread, Camembert, cheesecake, and a pricey bottle of Pinot Noir. I remember how I felt when purchasing these items - heart aflutter and wide-eyed optimism.

Here's how things turned out:

1) We finish the loaf of bread

2) Gloria drinks a glass of wine

3) I whisper sweet nothings like "drink up" to her on my bed in the dark

4) I gently place my glass upon her hip

5) She giggles softly

6) I run the glass up her side

7) She is so feverish with lust that she knocks the glass over onto my extremely expensive bed

8) I wipe away the stain along with my desire

9) We try to watch Magnolia for the third time

10) She passes out. On the wet spot.

Apparently, the romancing was too hot to handle. The night ended with me eating cheesecake in bulk ALONE with only Lucille Ball to keep me company. Next time, it'll be Seven Eleven taquitos and Olde English 40's.